Lori Dawn

  • About Me

    My Bio

    Artist, writer, schemer, smartass, occasional scientist. \m/

  • My 272s
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    Origins: Possibilities

    Got the confirmation from Ancestry DNA that they received my spit kit. Their cheerful email read "You are now on your way to amazing discoveries." AMAZING. Hmm. Strong word. What if I found out something bad? And what, if anything, would be bad?   I've been thinking about this and I felt that I would only be disappointed if I found out that I was just Italian and Eastern European because I already know that. If that's all I am, all that spi... Read More

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    Origins: The paranoid participant

    When you register your kit with Ancestry DNA, you are asked to input a name that will be made public on your profile.  This is so that others who have similar profiles will be matched with you. In other words, you can find relatives you never knew you had. So not only can you find out who you are, you can connect with more family.  Are they fucking crazy? Do I really need more family members? I am trying to deal with the insane ones I have ... Read More

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    Origins: The spit kit

    Shorlty after I was born, the nurse brought me in to my mom.  She shared hospital room with an asian woman who also just had a little bundle of joy.  Upon seeing my chubby cheeks and thick tuft of straight black hair sticking straight out of my head, my mom's roommate exclaimed, "Oh, there's my baby!" The nurse paused.  Everyone looked at me.  Upon closer inspection of my hair and face, neither mom was sure.  The nurse had to... Read More

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    The Economics of Needful Things

    I was astonished to read that Americans spend 55 billion dollars on cosmetics each year. By my own account as a lipstick addict, I would have thought that number would be much higher. And so, feeling incredibly guilty that my collection of eyeshadows was causing poverty in the 3rd world, I quickly set upon some intensive research of my own. By this I mean I turned to the all-powerful and knowing Google and typed in the phrase "How much do Amer... Read More

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    how I survived childhood. pt 1

    When I was little, my family would make a monthly pilgrimage from Long Island to Manhattan for dinner at Grandma's.  Each time, we would leave late. Each time, we would get stuck in traffic. And each time, I would learn a new swear word from my dad.  As we crept along the expressway, I began my usual ritual: 1-Annoy baby sister until she started crying.2-Find hiding place for newly picked booger. 3-Repeat steps 1 & 2 until smacked.  ... Read More

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    Smuggler's Blues

    I was sad at the recent passing of Glenn Frey.  Everything I learned about smuggling, I learned from him. And though I've never trafficked anything illegal, a girl's got to be prepared. Last Month, there was a big drug bust when some Mexican guys filled bags with marijuana and made them look like fake carrots. They put them under a load of real carrots and tried to drive them across the border. Their plan was so eloquent in its simplicity, yet... Read More

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    My Super Tuesday Nightmare

    In the midway of our mortal life, I found myself in a gloomy wood, astray.  Gone from the path… blah blah blah… I was attacked by 3 beasts and then this poet guy saved me and we walked through hell together. It was almost exactly as Dante described.  Almost. In the first circle I saw those in limbo.  The virtuous non-Christians: Caesar, Socrates and oddly enough, Carol Channing. She’s not dead yet- just visiting. In the seco... Read More

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    Dallas dreaming

    On Friday nights when I was a kid, after my parents tucked me in for the night, I would sneakily snap my little  tv on and tune into a show that I was not allowed to watch- Dallas. I had a little crush on JR- formally known to me as Major Nelson. Bobby was too much of a pretty-boy wimp. And as far as bad boys go, you could do a lot worse than a billionaire oil magnate. Anyway,  because of that show, I had my first dreams of what I wanted to be... Read More

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    Shallow Depths of Love

    I am a Valentine’s Day Infidel- a non-believer in forced romance and a phobic of naked babies who yield weapons.  I never understood this crazy consumer-driven holiday because what does love mean if you are not willing to grab a soup ladle and beat a giant tiger off your beloved? Let me explain. A few years ago on Valentine’s Day, it was reported that a Malaysian man, while hunting in the jungle for squirrels, was attacked by a tiger.  ... Read More

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    My first Chirp

    If a tree falls in the forest one billion light years away and there is no one there to hear it, did it make a sound?   I have no idea.  Nor do I really understand what happened this week with the discovery of gravitational waves.  But I am inexplicably happy this happened.   As a biology technician, I started out thinking I was smart enough to grasp all the science stuff behind this. After all, I did take a physics class in college.  S... Read More

  • 272s By Others

    272s shared by Lori

    Smuggler's Blues

    Written by: Lori Dawn

    I was sad at the recent passing of Glenn Frey.  Everything I learned about smuggling, I learned from him. And though I've never trafficked anything illegal, a girl's got to be prepared. Last Month, there was a big drug bust when some Mexican guys filled bags with marijuana and made them look like fake carrots. They put them under a load of real carrots and tried to drive them across the border. Their plan was so eloquent in its simplicity, yet... Read More